Rebellion Dreams

My Shard, Childhood and a Confession about my Past

My shard was a pleasant little village community surrounded by a vast wilderness. The people were kind and loving. I guess you could say that we lived in a relatively perfect society without corruption. Every dreamer had the freedom that was needed and lived together in harmony. The most enlightened people were those called Dreamers. Everyone in the city looked up to them and respected them because they were able to reach a higher realm called Underlight. One of those dreamers was called Hask. I was born when Hask was just a well-respected man who seemed to achieve the Dreamstate more often then most. He was a kind of leader in our community, a man of great integrity. By the time I was 35, Hask had fallen for a woman in that dream, a woman who worshiped chaos and destruction. He was deeply influenced by this woman who kept telling him to kill everyone on his shard and join her in chaos outside the city of dreams. Now I will tell you all what I have never told anyone before. I learned of Hask's plans while reading through his notes. I was horrified never experiencing this type of evil before. I ran away into the caves like a coward! This act has been a pain in my side even since I recovered my memories. I am glad to finally reveal it to all to you.

When I returned to my village, I found everyone dead even Hask who had committed suicide. It's all so hazy but I think I went into a shock that lead to my insane experience in Chaos. How my body left on Cloudsbreak survived the experience, I will never know.

Chaos

Chaos is a world of confusion, horror, loneliness, and beauty. I found myself in this land, this realm between Cloudsbreak and the city of dreams. I didn't know where I came from or how I got to this realm. There I saw a great city. I was able watch the houses reopen and grow. I watched the Free Spirits go to their meeting in Edgewood Barrows. I listened and learned. Now that I have my memories, I can explain what happened when I entered the city. When I dreamed I knew nothing of where I resided in Cloudsbreak but had all my memories of watching. When I was in cloudsbreak I wondered around aimlessly and lost, while blacking out occasionally only to find myself in the dream with no memory of my shard. I have many theories on why I was in this strange condition, but I will never know the truth.

Arrival!

There I was… in a suit of gold, standing in the courtyard of awakening. It was the city of dreams, a wonderous place that I had watched for a long time but I never really touched, never really saw on a ground level. I kneeled down and touched the rocky ground. It felt cold and hard… I jumped back having never felt anything like it before. It shocked me. Scared, I looked back at chaos. I spent many years in chaos, watching, but all that was behind me, I would never go back there again. I looked forward and stared at my new home, the city of dreams.

The Free Spirits Revolution/Movement

I entered the city with a crusade, a crusade against corruption and hypocrisy. Corruption and hypocrisy were the most evil things in my mind and I wanted to do everything in my power to stop them. I believe this was due to my subconscious desires to make up for my sin of silence back on my shard that led to the destruction of my village. Also I have this need to make Underlight into the kind of society I once lived in. I did not just make up things as I went along… I had a plan. I wanted to unite the free spirits in a revolution of change! As I wandered about the city, touching new things and seeing them up close, I talked to a couple free spirits. Brother Timothy, a famous ex-city guard member, was one that I talked to. I wanted to give him a speech but he brushed me aside. Other dreamers were helpful, such as Snapcase, a dreamer who listened to me and felt my revolution idea was promising. Wandering along, I came to meet Purple lace, who would soon become one of my greatest friends and love of my dream.

Her gaze was hypnotic as she surveyed the room, her dark beauty casting shadows in the minds of all who beheld her. She was a sight to see. She spoke very nicely and was kind to me. I told her where I had come from and that I wanted to give a speech to her… to see what she thought. We went to the evernight sanctuary. As lace sat across from the evil eye… And I gave my infamous first speech.

“I look out and I see Free Spirits concerned with the dream around them, you have all come here as Free Dreamers, and Free Dreamers you are. What will you do without freedom? I come here to ask you, will you join me in massive protest? Newly awakened dreamers are used for gathering essences and items even though they have no beliefs or knowledge of the dream. They are abused and mistreated by the Houses of the Dream! Why do we stand for this? Free Spirits are attacked and not permitted to go on some lands because it is "House Policy." We are put on CoS lists and hunted throughout the dream! Why? Some fight, in there own way, but what does that accomplish, It just gets a Free Spirit branded. So why do we Free Spirits sit idly by while we are oppressed? If you protest you might be put on a CoS list or you might be collapsed but if you don't you will not, at least a while... and leaving the dream a long time from now... Are you willing, to trade all the time from this to that for one chance, just one chance to tell the city that the Free Spirits and the Newly Awakened will not go silently into the night? That we are a major part of the dream and the base of the dream and will be pushed around and taken advantage of NO MORE! WILL YOU PROTEST?”

Lace was moved… She applauded and cheered me. I did not know it at the time as I know it now but what I felt for lace was true love. It was love at first sight. With that speech began the free spirit revolution… soon in the battling arena, Dayride’s Aura heard the speech and was willing to help. After my first two successes I was felling overly optimistic. I heavily advertised the free spirits meeting and encouraged all to come. My moment in the public eye had begun…

I entered the Free Spirits meeting for the first time. I had always watched it from afar… watching dreamer rant and rave, discuss and debate, announce and ascend. The room was packed with dreamers both free spirit and non-freespirit. From rulers of great houses to lowly initiates, many legends were there. Looking back the faces all seem to blend together and I can only remember a few… jolly, Sweething, Lunitari, Taureanh, Purple Lace, Brother Timothy, Dayride’s Aura, and of course Berkana. A sphere ascension was held before my speech, but all were waiting for the mystery guest. I came to the center and gave the speech, instantly dreamers were shouting both positive and negative comments and questions. It was liked I touched a nerve that was never touched before. I was completely overwhelmed. I answered the questions with fast intelligent responses while Taureanh and others were throwing thoughtless and stupid insults. Dayride’s Aura, Purple Lace, and others were quick to defend my motives. It was crazy, a storm of chaos. The moderator Dayride’s Aura tried to keep control but he could not. Then something stopped all the madness… the words of a relatively new dreamer, that dreamer was Berkana. I admired her elegance and beauty as she walked into the center and said her piece, all respected her because of the calm and intelligent way she spoke. Most were shocked at the wisdom coming from one so new. I knew that she would be a part to the revolution soon enough. I also knew that she would go on to do great things and change the city much more than I ever could. At the end of the free spirits meeting, Dayride’s Aura said that I saved the free spirits meeting from fading into nothing. Maybe I did, I do not know. I had mixed emotions but I still pressed on with my plan.

Thus, I formed the infamous “organizers” of the Free Spirit Revolution. The members were Berkana, Dayride’s Aura, Purple Lace, and of course me. We discussed the revolution and began to negotiate with some of the houses. Soon I wrote the first post on the public scrolls telling the plans of the revolution. Dreamers near and far most notably Flagg, Taureanh, and members of houses picked apart the post and some attacked it negatively. The house that I decided to negotiate with first was Dreamers of Light, little did I know that was my first big mistake because of one dreamer. A powerful ruler named Wraith.

One dream, Purple Lace and I headed up to the main entrance of the Dreamers of Light house. We encountered a ruler there by the name of Pheonix Redhawk or nix as he's called, that was more than willing to negotiate. We talked for a long time about all the ideas the “organizers” had for changing some house policies, nix admitted that he agreed with some of the points. When I brought up the issue of corruption, he told me he was the unofficial head of internal affairs. When I asked about ruler corruption, he told me that Dreamers of Light didn't need to worry about that. That disturbed me, because I knew about Wraith. Although I was a little worried, Nix's cooperation left me satisfied that I was on my way.

Although, the sweetness of my revolution did not last long. I went up to the house because I heard that Keeka, a ruler in DoL, wanted to talk to me. In that meeting Keeka told me that she did not care about my ideas because I was a free spirit and not in the house, she would not listen to me or negotiate with me. I didn't know it at the time but Wraith was behind this decision. The “organizers” were being shut out.

Since Keeka broke off negotiations, I decided it would be a good idea to organize the first protest. Before that, I felt that I needed to investigate the Dreamers of Light mentoring system and expose it to the dream. Thus I could use its flaws to anger up the public and fuel the protest. I did not tell the other “organizers” about my plan… instead we worked on a new name, and Berkana changed the name from the Free Spirits Revolution to the Free Spirits movement. Meanwhile, I conducted my first investigation. I talked to the head mentor, one ruler, and seven mentors. I did not like what I found so I showed all the information I gathered to the dream and drew a conclusion about the effectiveness of the mentoring system. I admit now, the investigation was sloppy, short, and I drew my conclusions based on little evidence. However, the mentoring system had problems that much was clear. All of a sudden, a negative opinion of the Free Spirit movement seemed to spread all around the dream. Rumors like, “Rebel wants to take over the houses” or “Rebel wants to close the houses,” circled the dream. I did not know who spread these lies but I strongly suspected Wraith. Also around this time Dayride’s Aura quit the organizers. Things were falling apart.

I then made another big mistake, I planned to organize a protest and encourage all Free Spirits to come right at this low point of the movement. Besides that I did not tell the other “organizers.” Despite my previous knowledge from chaos, I was still new to interacting in the city and it was obvious I had much to learn.

A sign in the courtyard of awakening The Rebel invites all free spirits to come to the Free Spirit Meeting today at 7pm DST in the Earthen Sanctuary, Edgeward Barrows. He will be giving a special message to all free spirits regarding the Free Spirit Movement. All free spirits are encouraged to attend! Also, Shaolin invites everyone to the group with no name today at 5pm DST in Earthen Sanctuary, Edgeward Barrows.

It came time of the big heavily advertised Free Spirits meeting and I told the other “organizers.” Berkana and Purple Lace both urged me not to proceed with the plan. They told me I was moving to fast and this is “not the right time.” I decided to go ahead anyway under the protests of Lace and Berk. It was a mistake that I remember all to well.

I entered the Earthern Sanctuary to a packed crowd. It was even more crowded then my last speech. When it was my turn to go, I entered the center of the Sanc. I gave the speech… I recall it vividly…

"I look into this crowd of dreamers and I see dreamers that are free. I see free spirits. Many argue over the meaning of being a free spirit. I think that being a Free Spirit means making the decision for yourself. It is about the individual choice. I am a Free Spirit and I have made my choice... I have chosen my destiny... I chose to lead the Free Spirit Movement, so me and my fellow organizers can change house policies that I believe affect the Free Spirits and the dream. The Organizers were negotiating with rulers and guardians of DoL. These negotiations were going well until I had a meeting with Keeka. Keeka told me she would not negotiate DoL policies with non DoL members and she would not even discuss them with members of the Free Spirit Movement. I wish to protest and I will protest the fact that DoL rulers will not even discuss or negotiate with members of the Free Spirit Movement... That is my choice... That is purple lace's choice.... That is Berkana's choice... and many others.... I have come hear to ask the Free Spirit's of the dream, If they will choose to protest or choose not to! Will you show the dream, that Free Spirits can make a difference, That we will be heard and should not be shoved away like a rotten apple! I want to ask you all, if you will protest DoL breaking negotiations with the organizers of the Free Spirit Movement.... Will you make a difference in the dream? It is up to you..."

The crowd was unmoved. Speech after speech about the name “Free Spirit Movement.” I heard things like, “It does not represent all Free Spirits so the name is wrong,” and “We are free spirits, we do not have any say in what the houses do to us.” Berkana and Purple Lace told me they would not be involved in the protest. I was hurt when Silverwake gave a speech attacking the free spirit movement and she captured the room. Only six FrS out of the thirty-forty FrS there said they were interested. Lace tried to speak but after a couple interruptions, she left the meeting hurt and confused. Berkana was mad and was not speaking to me. Meanwhile speeches continued to attack the free spirits movement. I looked around and I knew the free spirits movement was dead but I refused to accept that my plan had failed. I went back up to speak in a last attempt to save the movement but I came across sounding incoherent and stupid. The Free Spirits Movement was over and my plan had failed. It was not the dream’s fault. It was my fault. I knew I could not to give up crusade against corruption and hypocrisy, so I decided to go it alone. This is when I started getting into a wee bit of trouble.

The First Issues

After the movement ended, Silverwake decided that I was right about one thing that relations between the houses and the free spirits needed improvement. So she started the Free Spirit Embassy and I became Ambassador to House Calenture. I started spending most of my dream investigating corruption and hypocrisy, hanging out at house’s main entrances, and speaking out wherever I could. I learned much about Dreamers of Light. Apparently Wraith was almost in total control of the house and ran it through fear. Dreamers in the house started to talk to me about all his abuses and their criticisms of him but they were afraid to come on the record. I learned how powerful Wraith was those dreams. Despite all the "off the record" support I received, not one dreamer would come on the record and reveal everything. I also became an annoyance to certain loyal members who guarded these houses. Dreamers were amazed at my persistence and ability to argue a point until I was right. I then published the first issue of “REBEL!” with a painfully insulting satire on Wraith and Dreamers of Light. Some members of that house did not find it very amusing or funny while others praised it in whispers. Well, it sure made Wraith very mad. While I was researching the house calenture mentoring system, I met my first hit man. His name was BladeSlayer242 and he collapsed me with extreme prejudice under orders from Wraith. Of course, I put it in issue two of “REBEL!” and it made a impact on the public forums although most dreamers did not find it that surprising, it was Wraith. However, I found that the image of a non-violent dreamer being attacked for just his words was powerful and managed to rally many behind my cause. I began a ideal of non-violence against dreamers and would engage in battle during duels. Around that time I did a nice interview with one of my friends and teaching hero, Purple Lace. It brought me closer to her as I learned more about her past. It made me realize the importance of friends, which to be honest, I did not have many. It was included in the third issue of “REBEL!” but of course the passing of Wraith overshadowed it. I made a few dreamers upset by saying this in the beginning of the post.

Hi, I am the Rebel and right now I see hope for the Dreamer’s of Light. With their long time Ruler of Rulers gone, there is a chance for DoL to reclaim its honor. It now has the possibility to be a great house. To stop the Greed, selfishness, disruption in honor, lies, cowardice, corruption, and hypocrisy of some of the members of a house you must go strait to the center. That center is Wraith and now he is gone. Maybe Wraith thought what he was doing was for the good of the house, or maybe he was corrupted by the power he possessed. I hope that Pheonix Redhawk seizes his chance at power because he is one of the most honorable dreamers in the City of Dreams.

But it was my Wraith funeral satire that really stirred up anger within the house that would last for a long time.

COMEDY AND SATIRE (Not to be taken seriously)

The end of the adventures of Wraith…

Wraith’s funeral…

All the members of DoL and some other dreamer’s stand and look at the ruler’s casket. Biggie Z, so immature and stupid, can do only one thing to express his emotion. He calls Wraith a “poopy-head,” for leaving and he says that he smells. Keeka is smiling because this is her chance at more power but looks around parnoidly at the other rulers. Pheonix Redhawk cries at the passing of what he thought was a great man. STU is only crying because he is so happy. The initiates of DoL look confused thinking, “Who do I blindly follow and never question now?”

Even though a put a “(not to be taken seriously)” in the segment… the house took it very seriously especially Biggie Z. He swore to collapse me whenever he saw me outside of a sanctuary, this later got him into some trouble later. It upset almost every member of the house even those that supported my actions and were glad that Wraith was gone. They thought I had gone too far.

I met a teacher named Incubus around this time. When I first met him, he said that I caused a lot of chaos in the dream so he liked me and would give me an art or two. It is against the teacher’s oath to give arts away but Incubus found away around it. He told me to jump so I did. Then he recited the teacher mumbo jumbo and was about to grant the art when I stopped him. I told him that I would not accept an art like that. I talked to many teachers about this and they told me stories of Soul Thief. After some investigating, I realized that “jump tasking” was in fact allowed by the oath. This event lingered in my mind. I spoke out against Incubus and exposed his abuse of loopholes in his oath.

I included that information in “REBEL!” issue 4, along with information I heard that Osric planned to disband the ruler’s circle. I thought I should warn the city in case it was true. It caused the usual stir, little did I know that the information was true and a civil war would soon start in the Union of the Covenant.

The Union of the Covenant Civil War

I have always considered the Union of the Covenant Civil war, the best example of what corruption, hypocrisy, tyranny, power hunger, a system that no one followed and no internal affairs to investigate corruption can do to a house.

I first heard of the Union of the Covenant Civil war when I met Erutzz, he told me of how Osric returned to the house and told everyone that he wanted to disband the rulers circle and then got into an argument with another ruler by the name of Gatekeeper. The argument turned violent and soon dreamers of the same house were fighting each other. A civil war had broken out in the Union. I headed up to the house and met a dreamer named Nokomis and Lady Heart Bow, they both refused to answer questions. Soon the questions I asked pissed Nokomis off big time and she collapsed me.

When I headed into the Earthen Sanctuary I found a Gatekeeper, Ceyllynn and several other Union members. Ceyllynn told me some things about Osric. She told me he was part dark mare and that part had taken control of him. She said that he came to her not too long ago and wanted to be a ruler of Keepers of the Eternal Shadow and then later that he told her that he was leaving the dream. The tales of corruption streamed in from others in the room about Osric and his supporters.

I went back to the house and got an interview with Gatekeeper, he confirmed what some others had said. He told me about the first battle in the civil war and how Osric announced he was leaving the dream. He also told me of Osric’s plan of disbanding the ruler’s circle. About this time Serialkiller33 ran out of the house, he looked visibly upset. He told me that he was just branded a traitor and he wanted to talk to me. I talked to Serialkiller, thus found out about corruption and power abuse involving Kestral and Gatekeeper. He told me that for months he and most of the initiates of the house had been trying to get all rulers and guardians out because the corruption was so bad. I talked to several more initiates and guardians. Some ex-members like Jconquer who told me that he left because of the Kestral. Many seemed to back up SK's claims. Around that time, I witnessed the last argument between the Kestral and Osric. It was truly an event that had a profound effect on me. The Kestral left the dream for a long time after the argument. After all the investigating I wrote a completely unbiased account of the Union of the Covenant Civil War, the only thing I concluded was that all rulers and guardians should be demoted and new rulers should be elected by the initiates. The issue stirred the chaos storm and made a big impact. The city seemed to support my conclusion.

The civil war went on… I helped Serialkiller33 by promoting his goal of demoting all rulers and guardians. While walking the hallways, I ran into Sk8er, a known member of Dreamers of Light, and to my surprise he was wearing the crest of a Union of the Covenant guardian. I knew that things were bad but not that bad. He was roaming the halls, initiating everyone that would accept, in a crazy attempt to bring down the house that was already in a civil war. He gave me the exclusive interview and after his story was told, he left the dream. Apparently a ruler had initiated him to help in the civil war. However, he betrayed his agreement with the ruler and tried to bring down the house. Chance, my hero, restlessly hunted the dream for all those that Sk8er initiated and demoted them. Sk8er left the city after his plan failed. My expose of the Sk8er forced the demotion of all rulers and guardians.

Serialkiller remembers the event in a later issue of "REBEL!"

“In June, all the guardians and rulers were demoted to initiates. This was done for the simple reason that there was no "system" in place. There were no followed rules, the systems in place was failing and miserably and the rulers made decisions the house hated (not disliked, but hated) We decided to start anew. We decided then to wipe a clean slate and get a working rulership in place and do absolutely nothing in the house till we had a fully written charter with all the specifics of how the house was to be run.”

Around this time, Dayride’s Aura began to mentor to join Gathering of the Entranced. He was a long time moderator of the Free Spirits meeting. His former wife and my close friend purple lace, the dreamer I secretly loved, planned on taking over the moderating position when he left but I swooped down and unknowingly stole the position from her. It upset her and made her mad at me for a long time. While I was moderating one of these meetings, SONYA, the ambassador to the Union of the Covenant, told all the freespirits that the house just demoted all the ruler and guardians and elected a new ruler… Lady Heart Bow. Everyone was happy, but I cheered the loudest.

Back to the light

I felt on top of the dream at that point in time. I could take on the city. I was The Rebel, famous crusader against corruption and hypocrisy. At this time, I was in fact pretty famous, so dreamers would come up to me and give me off the record tips on where to investigate. I got a tip from a ruler of House Calenture named MrChaos to investigate a rumor that the dreaming stone of Dreamers of Light was missing. I went up to the main entrance of Dreamers of Light, a place I know all too well. At the main entrance, I got a lot of nasty looks and no answers. Then Biggie Z came out. He screamed, “LEAVE!” and then collapsed me before I could say a word. I floated there for a while because I knew of a little Dreamers of Light policy that does not allow personal collapses at the main entrance and this was a personal collapse. Biggie eventually admitted it was a personal collapse but it seemed that every member that came out to tell me to leave did not know about the policy. So after a while I chose to leave. I found ruler nix and told him what happened. He confirmed to me that there was such a policy and Biggie Z broke it. I told him all I want is for Biggie Z to apologize. Biggie Z soon apologized to his house. I thought it was a victory but who knew that it would lead me farther down a very disturbing road.

Even though the incident was personal, I included the Biggie Z debacle in “REBEL!” issue 8 and the apology in “REBEL!” issue 9. It caused a big stir and dreamers from the house came out of the woodwork to attack me. I wanted to go back to the main entrance and see what would happen to me but PAMSWEETS pulled me into a teaching scandal in Protectors of the Radiance before I could explore it further.

Pam

I always saw PAMSWEETS around and about with her crest of protectors of the Radiance worn proudly on her chest but I never got to know her. When I was in the threshold on a break gabbing with my good friend Berkana if I remember correctly, PAM came to me. She told me that she liked what I did for the dream and mentioned something about her former house. I asked her why she was no longer in the house, she told me that it was a long story. I waved to Berkana and I lead PAM to the Gold Sanctuary (Later known as the "Spirit of the Rebel" sanctuary, a place where I often have brought dreamers to talk or interview). She told me a horror story of how the rulers of her house were hypocrites and what they did to her. It was a story about some really bad teaching, with that story I began my investigation in the Protectors of the Radiance sphere tasking system.

What I found was rulers that did not know what they were talking about. I found rulers that contradicted each other. I found out that one ruler ran the whole sphere tasking system with an iron fist using it to force house members into doing thoughtless work for the house while they learned nothing. It was a sad case of power abuse. The rulers were mean to me and PAMSWEETS, who I took along for guidance. I ended up floating in their main entrance. I took all that I gathered and put it all in a special Protector edition of “REBEL!” It caused a big stir in the dream of course and soon I found out from a couple dreamers that the sphere tasking system was removed. I strongly believe this was because of the controversy whether directly or indirectly. I had yet another success.

PAMSWEETS showed such courage that I named her an honorary crusader and gave this speech…

“PAMSWEETS is a dreamer...A dreamer who was once a member of Protectors of the Radiance. She was then turned from a member of a house... to a victim of the sphere tasking system. She was hurt deeply and emotionally but she moved on... She became a Free Spirit. Then later I asked her if she would talk with me about it and she did. She did not sin by silence... She told me the truth. That took guts and that took courage... but even beyond that she helped me with my investigation... She stood beside me and controlled her inner rage while investigating... Most dreamers could not do that... most dreamers would have lost control. Helped me gather so much information... She controlled her emotions and stood beside me helping me interview house members. She has what it takes to be a crusader... and I will welcome her to join me in my crusade against corruption and hypocrisy... Some rulers of Protectors of the Radiance... Ms. Xtreme, Raven Lunatic, King Edward, and Mashman claim they are honorable... If they are... then PAMSWEETS must be lying. The one thing that bothered me, the one thing that stayed in my mind and I couldn't get rid of it, that haunted me, was why would she lie? What was her motive for lying? If the rulers are innocent, she's lying, why? Was it blackmail? No. Was it jealousy? No. I found out why... Oh I did...She doesn't have a motive, you know why? Because she's not lying... PAMSWEETS is an honorable dreamer and the rulers that say she is not are not honorable! She is brave enough... she will become a crusader.”

She served as a crusader for a short while before she decided that she was not cut out for the job. I remained a friend with her but soon we grew apart. She eventually came to hate me for unknown reasons.

Wraith is back

I was feeling pretty satisfied with all my work in the dream. My crusade against corruption and hypocrisy was as strong as ever. One dream, I was with Berkana, Intrigue, and some other friends trying to bring Purple Lace back into the dream. We performed a ceremony and she returned. I was overjoyed. Then after the ceremony was over and everyone was celebrating, SerialKiller, still a friend from the civil war, came to me. He told me some bad news. He told me that Wraith was back. I was shocked and saddened. I felt that Wraith’s return was a horrible burden on me. I wondered if he would take back control of his house that had now flowed to all the remaining rulers.

So SK and me went up to the house, waiting for Wraith to come out. He came out and without a pause collapsed me. This was a personal collapse at the main entrance but yet he broke this policy which Biggie Z, his son apologized for, without remorse or hesitation. He yelled out insults and curses to me. As I interviewed him with every question he yelled out a stupid immature insult. Meanwhile, the Jester drained me and then Wraith collapsed me. She claimed that it was because she sneezed but any sane person knew that was a lie. While all this was happening not one dreamer told me to leave, asked me to leave, or warned me of the use of drain-self or collapse. This was a violation of two policies of Dreamers of Light. Wraith claimed it was not, he claimed that I was an enemy of the house but in fact I was not on the Collapse on Sight list. I was outraged by the incident. It showed how powerful Wraith is and was free to break all policies. I put it all in Issue 10 of “REBEL!” It caused a big stir as usual, most dreamers in the light defended Wraith’s actions and most dreamers out of the light condemned his actions. Some dreamers could not believe that a ruler of the light was using such a colorful choice of words. It was crazy. Wraith had an unbelievable amount of power and influence. I went up to the house many times and instead of apologies, more dreamers broke house policy. I was shocked and I could not do anything about it. I fought it as long as I could but I must say that all that craziness took a lot out of me. I was beginning to go into a severe depression and I was getting out of touch with my friends. The insults, the critics, and constant investigations were taking their toll on my strong mind. My enemies continued to propagandize a false image of me… an image of an evil, egotistical, hypocritical, and crazy dreamer, searching for as much attention as I can get. That image was very far from reality, but many started to believe it.

A big mistake

I believe that my growing depression and all the pressure, was the reason I made a huge mistake. I turned a small investigation about “bad” tasks and rumors into a storm of craziness and hatred. Dolly Day Dream contacted me one dream. She gave me some “facts” and opinions about ILIADA and Eldora to start me off on my investigation. First I decided to investigate these so called “facts” and I found out that the facts were not facts but rumors that were probably untrue. I sought advice from Berkana based on the letter, what she knew, the fact that ILIADA and Eldora were rulers of Keepers of the Eternal shadow, and that Ceyllynn was friends with Dolly, she told me that she thought that Dolly was using me to mud sling keepers or that Dolly was being used. I asked Flagg and he agreed. I really did not know what to think but Berkana never steered me in the wrong direction before so I decided to follow her advice thus turn the investigation back on Dolly Day Dream. I talked to members of the keepers and asked them about ILIADA, Eldora, and Dolly Day Dream. I took all the evidence and put it in “REBEL!” issue 11. I betrayed her trust and broke my promise to kept her name out of it. It was the only time I had done something like that and I thought it was right for some reason. In that issue I concluded that Dolly should be demoted. I did it out of anger and the advice of my friends. I was so out of it that I had even forgotten to seek Dolly before I posted the issue. The issue caused one of the biggest stirs in “REBEL!” history. I have never seen such hatred then of that between the two sides in the incident. I had jumped to conclusions and in effect caused a near war. It led to much pain and I knew that I had done something wrong.

I talked to Dolly and Thunberg. After a long question and answer session, she told me her story and Thumper confirmed it. I apologized to Dolly and then set out to right my wrongs. Then apologized publicly. After the dolly scandal, the keepers groups started fighting each other and the public scrolls became another battleground. I am still ashamed of that incident. It had taught me not to jump to conclusions, to never betray someone's trust, to stick to my word and to always listen to both sides of the conflict if possible. I have stayed true to those lessons for the rest of my dream, but the mistake had damaged my credibility for the rest of my crusade.

Insanity

After the dolly scandal, I was extremely depressed. Those that had respected me felt like I had betrayed them. My friends couldn't console me. I felt such guilt that it was like I had large weights dragging me down. I considered joining the keepers and ending my crusade but pushed on despite the pain. I was also sad because the meeting I loved so much was deserted every week… the free spirits meeting. And my hidden feelings for purple lace were no help to the situation.

I went up to the Dreamers of Light threshold and apologized. It was a pathetic sight to see. I did not know what I was doing apologizing to Wraith and to the house. I was teased and laughed at. It was embarrassing when a crowd of DoL members insulted and collapsed me, I shrugged it off on the outside but inside I was having a nervous breakdown. Then Wraith told me to leave or I would be collapsed yet again, for the first time I left as soon as I was asked. My pride had been destroyed.

I published the last issue of “REBEL!” soon after the apology with some evidence I gathered over the weeks. I drew no conclusion just presented some evidence but I was still heavily insulted. Lucinda and Thantanos told me of some more info they found. I could not take it anymore. Was I being used? Was I respected at all anymore? What is going on?

As I was walking around the thresh… I began to hear voices, Grayling, Valourin, Ms Xtreme, LadyHeartBow, Biggie Z, Purple Lace, Breyd, Munchkin, Hiro, Tombstone, and of course Wraith. They were all calling me the bad guy, evil, corrupt, hypocrite, and a clown. They were all laughing at me. The voices faded in an out. I found it hard to talk to other dreamers. I started stumbling around the threshold as other dreamers followed me. I located Berkana and headed to Umbric Plains, it took me a while to find the sanc she was in due to my state. I told her what was happening and she gave me a rock with magical powers. I belittled her and insulted her envisioning her as wraith. She turned her back to me. I gathered my strength and threw the rocks at her, screaming out. One dreamer laughed at me… I banged my head against the wall and chanted…

I am just a clown I am just a clown I am just a clown

Then I completely lost it. I wondered around the dream without any idea of who I was or where I was. I was seeing horrific visions of Wraith as my god. The voices grew stronger and stronger. I fell into pits of fire with burning avatars and evil flesh eating Calenture initiates. From there my memories die off, until I woke.

Shardian Strangeness

Meanwhile on my shard, I had no idea about my insanity in the dreamstate. All I knew was that I blanked out often. I spent most of my time getting in touch with nature, living with the animals of my shard. But when I woke up this time, I felt very sick. Apparently my trouble in the dream had affected my body on cloudsbreak. I ventured into the caves to find the all-healing powers on a rare plant known as the sintah. People on my shard had used it for ages. It healed the mind as well as the body in many cases.

Renewed Spirit

I returned to the city and my insanity was gone. I felt a renewed spirit. I soon gave a historic speech at the Free Spirit meeting. It was long but as I wrapped it up, I told those gathered about my dream…

"Because I have a dream...You may say that I am just one but I assure you I am not the only one who dreams of this. I dream that oaths are followed to the line. I dream that houses get into honorable wars instead of hiring hitmen and paying them by initiating them into the house and using the mission board to give them xp. That is corruption... any way you want to slice it. I have a dream of a city that is free of corruption and hypocrisy in all forms. I am a free spirit and I am still a crusader against corruption and hypocrisy. That is my fate and nothing can stop fate. I AM BACK!".

The crowd burst into applause. It was like they needed me and on some level supported me. Although, my new found belief in fate lead to future problems.

Friends

After my insanity, I played it cool. I investigated reports and rumors more privately, and tried with all my power to keep them from going public. This was suprisingly effective in some cases and not effective in others. I worked closely with rulers and guardians to fight corruption and hypocrisy. I decided that I would only go to the public if I had to. I also spent more time with my close friends such as purple lace and Berkana. They helped me in my troubles and I helped them in their troubles. Berk and Lace were dealing with a problems in their group, “The Keepers,” so I came during the meetings and helped them out. I spent more time talking with other friends like Intrigue, Kard, Flagg, Ravageone, and others. Lace threatened to leave the dream around this time. This hurt me and scared me, she wanted to leave because of the teaching problems in the dream. This opened my eyes and sparked the lingering remembrance of Soul Thief and Incubus.

Mashman out of the Protectors

It all started when with a tip and it ended with a demotion of one of the most respected and admired rulers/teacher of the dream. RayvenFire told me information that Mashman a ruler of PoR, was in fact giving away arts, spheres, and XP for his relationships with two woman. How a ruler so great, so powerful, so respected, so moral, could do such a thing was shocking to me. I, of course, did not jump to conclusions. I investigated the charges for a long period of time. I talked to Mashman, RayvenFire, WinterValentine, Prothall, and others on several occasions.

RayvenFire also told me that she had given the information to the rulers and they weren't doing anything about Mashman even though they knew he was wrong. She turned to me because she knew I would do something. RayvenFire thought that nothing would be done so she handed me the largest amount of evidence I have ever received. The entire recorded memories of two dreamers. I made up my mind and was sure that Mashman was guilty. I was so sure that I decided to expose him to a dream, draw a conclusion, and never give up attacking him until he was demoted from his house. That is what I did in this excerpt from my post.

"The recorded memories were too long and there were too many to believe them to be fabrications. I searched WinterValentine’s memories and Alanniss’s memories and found no contradictions that would indicate the memories were altered. I also talked to several witnesses to Mashman’s activities but their names will go unmentioned. All the evidence points toward Mashman being a corrupt master teacher and a corrupt ruler and I think that he is corrupt. Let justice be done though the heavens fall."

All of Mashman’s friends came out of the wood work and supported his side except of course the rulers of Protectors of the Radiance who had been given the information. They knew he was guilty, and they promised an investigation. Novgorad, a ruler, stated, "I refuse to pass judgement... YET. This is a serious allegation and thus it does warrant an in-depth and serious investigation." Raven Lunitic added, “An investigation within our means will be set forth." My respect for the rulers of the house grew but only slightly because the knowledge that nothing was done until this went public still lingered in my mind. They didn't investigate anything, they just bought some time. I was still attacked, insulted, and accused by respected dreamers who once knew Mashman and could not believe what he had really done. No PoR rulers came to my defense even though they knew I was right. I took all the heat, then RayvenFire came out and with a brave stance redirected the fire from me to her, saying, “Turn your eyes on me… not The Rebel or my daughter.” She was hurt by the attacks and felt that she was as much a part of this as me or her daughter. She had witnessed Mashman’s actions. Then the rulers of the Protectors felt they had waited long enough, they were forced to demote Mashman. Mashman was found guilty of all counts, demoted… and I could breathe a sigh of relief. All those that attacked me stopped and never apologized. Some poor souls continued to believe Mashman’s innocence. The rulers of PoR in public argued that they were the true heroes of this and I let them have their glory for awhile. They also said that I had nothing to do with the decision or actions taken by the ruler’s circle. And I let them. Justice had been done and I didn't need the credit at the time. Although, I do hope this story of my dreams sets the record strait.

Flagg gone

When I returned to the dream after a month in cloudsbreak, conflicts between the Keepers and Asmodan were growing. I tried to help my friends Berkana, Flagg and Purple Lace who were members of this group. I was present at many key conflicts with Asmodan. Then one dream I heard that Flagg was dead because Asmodan dream struck him. I was shocked and overcome by sadness. I remember going to Berkana and comforting her all the time. I remember honoring Flagg with a memorial message. Instead of saying, “See ya, Safe Paths, or Clear Dreams,” I made, “May the spirit of Flagg be with you,” my honorary goodbye. I gave speeches about Flagg all over the dream and I also gave a moving speech at his funeral. I remember the dream when Flagg returned. It was a glorious event. You would think that Flagg and I would grow closer but instead I grew closer to Berkana, one of my best friends and grew farther from Flagg.

Ayesh and me

I was becoming very concerned with teaching problems. I was giving speeches about jump tasking and I had just gotten a new mentor purple lace and was on my way to ordainment. Then Ayesh made a post on the public scrolls that ROCKED the dream forever. His post was at first incoherent and misunderstood by many but in it he stated that he would grant a sphere without a task. I was angry about this and immediately responded with anger. I decided to set out to meet Ayesh but instead found Frylia the one who was to be sphered. We talked and I found out that Ayesh and Frylia agreed with me that the system needed change and that is why Ayesh was doing what he was doing. So I helped them. I convinced Ayesh to edit his post and add some things that I suggested. This made the post more readable and it re-opened the dreamwide debate on the state of the Teaching system. Everywhere you went in the city dreamers were talking about the teaching system, jump tasks, the oath and what can be done to change things. I took my plan and trashed it… Ayesh and Frylia with help from me had accomplished much. I gave speeches everywhere along with Ayesh and Frylia. Soon the conclave was formed and they took it from there. I believe three dreamers… Ayesh, Frylia and me were the tip that pushed the mountain of change into a powerful boulder that created the conclave. I was heavily involved in the debates and revisions on the new oath that followed. Even though the conclave failed, it was a noble effort. My views on teaching changed and developed as I became very concerned with the system.

The Serialkiller33 Demotion Investigation

When I first heard of Serialkiller33’s demotion I was outraged. He was leaving the dream and demoted. The once hero of the Union of the Covenant was now gone. I let it go though because at the time my attention was focused on the teaching frenzy. He never left the city and I continued to speak with him. The situation in the Union of the Covenant grew to a state of near war and I knew I could no longer ignore the problem. Members were fighting each other, confused about the events around them and unsure about the future of the Union. So I opened an extensive investigation into the demotion of Serialkiller33, the event which lead to the house's problems. It led me to talk with many members of the Union, Free Spirits and members of Gathering of the Entranced. I worked closely with LadyHeartBow who was the only ruler I trusted. At the end of the investigation, I posted an extensive report of most of the evidence I have found. The investigation helped me improve many of my investigative skills and was an interesting experience to say the least. I concluded with the following…

"I have reviewed the evidence over and over and over and over again. I believe that Serialkiller33 was not liked by certain powers in the Union of the Covenant including Erutzz the ruler of Union of the Covenant. They wanted him out. Serialkiller33 was having problems with Gathering of the Entranced at the time, so they exposed the weakness. Erutzz withheld important information and tricked Serialkiller33 into getting in more trouble with GoE. He lied to members of his own house and manipulated them ever so slyly. Then at Serialkiller33’s demotion, Erutzz lied directly to his face tricking him into believing that if he did not accept his demotion, he would send his house into a war. Ritterwulfe, who watched, sinned by silence by not speaking up at the most crucial moment. Whether he is guilty or not that was something I do not like. Erutzz then covered up his crime of corruption and lies."

The report caused the usual stir on the scrolls and caused some debate in the Union. Ritterwulfe and Elektra were then asked to stand trial. Erutzz , upset about being exposed, went to the house and knighted 5 initiates including the Kestral. It was a sick attempt to start a war in the Union of the Covenant between himself and Ritterwulfe. Ritterwulfe refused to start the second Union of the Covenant Civil War and for that he is a hero. I talked with Ritterwulfe and many others involved helping with anything I could. The ruler’s circle decided demote Erutzz for his actions but later went back on that decision, Erutzz was scheduled to stand trial. Ritterwulfe was not demoted while Erutzz was demoted because he never showed up to his trial. My posts attacking Erutzz and my campaign in the house to expose Erutzz as a corrupt ruler had something to do with his absence, thus his surrender. Corruption was defeated that dream and the Union of the Covenant saved itself from another civil war. This victory still seemed hollow after I got no recognition or thanks as usual. I was able to take getting no credit in the Mashman scandal but when it happened again, I became upset.

The Stand and Survival of the Free Spirits Meeting

I have always loved the Free Spirits Meeting. It has always meant so much to me. I gave my first public speech during that meeting. The Free Spirits Meeting was fumbling at the time and dying. Then I saw an announcement.

It read, “All are invited to the Earthen Sanctuary in Edgeward Barrows Sunday at 7pmDST, for a meeting to discuss teaching in the dream, moderated by Ayesh. Topics will include the new oath, the "Conclave of Elders", and general sharing of ideas on teaching. Please come to the discussion, and feel free to present any views or topics for discussion. If reaction is positive, and a suitable time can be found, we hope to establish weekly teacher meetings.”

I was outrage and deeply hurt. Who did Ayesh think he was taking over the sacred Free Spirits Meeting? I would not stand for this. I went to talk to Ayesh and he made it clear that he would not move the meeting. We both tried to compromise but I refused to move the time of the Free Spirit’s meeting. I felt if this happened once, it would happen again. I felt that I must stop it in before it spreads. I planned to stand in a silent protest in the middle of the sanc in black ropes of death. I also planned that if that did not work, I would use disruptive tactics to destroy the sanity in the room. I entered the sanc and found intrigue. We talked and she said she would go reason with Ayesh. Intrigue returned later with Ayesh. Ayesh still refused to reschedule or let the Free Spirit's Meeting go at its usual time. Dreamers started gathering for the teachers meeting that was on the Message of the Day Sign in the courtyard, and some came for the Free Spirits Meeting probably wondering what was going on. Many insulted me and laughed as I silently protested. Although, I had the last laugh. Ayesh caved and the Free Spirits meeting was held first. Many Free Spirits thanked me afterward. Ever since that effort and many other efforts by Free Spirits, the meeting of the free has survived.

Controversy in Calenture

A post slammed itself on the public scrolls. It was a post made by a friend and ruler of House Calenture, MrChaos. It explained the policies of the Collapse on Sight, Seek and Collapse and Collapse by any means lists. I never liked the lists but the lists had nothing to do with corruption or so I thought. I received a list of the laws and codes from a House Calenture member that shall go unnamed. The member was alarmed that so many of her house mates were breaking their own laws and codes. So I posted a response that caused alarm and controversy all through House Calenture. I charged that the policies of the lists of House Calenture allowed corruption of House members and I demanded that they be changed. I met with many House rulers and many of them liked my idea to add a new law that would eliminate the lawlessness, including MrChaos. The ruler’s circle set to begin to discuss the new law and in time add it. At the time I had already scheduled a non-violent protest in a fit of anger. I realized there was no hope of removing my message of the day, so I tried to make the best of it and gathered up some friends to a rally in support of the ruler’s actions but the effort went largely unnoticed. The message of the day was cut off by some careless elders and Princess Alexis used the absence of time to hold a long protest. She caused the house some considerable trouble and made me look bad. I continued to talk to the rulers and they insisted that when the changes were made I would be notified.

“Wraith, Can’t we just be friends?”

I was standing in a meeting with the conclave members. I was listening to others and asking my questions. Then Wraith walked in to the meeting. I looked over at him and shivered. We exchanged glares and insulting whispers. I tried to bury the hatchet but he refused to cooperate. Meanwhile, Wraith was being very rude and not taking his turn like everyone else. He must have thought he was better than everyone else was because he refused to obey any of the rules of the meeting. I felt outraged by his actions and told him so. I had to do something so I posted a commentary of Wraith’s actions on the scrolls and re-posted all of the satires I ever wrote on Wraith. This action sparked an Anti-Rebel vibe and many came out of the woodwork.

“You have had a difficult time in your dream with Wraith, and I understand that, but you keep bringing up the past! GET OVER IT!” “Your satires still aren't funny, you'd think they would hold at least a speck of truth to them. Instead they do not, they take your own warped, obsessed, feelings and beliefs and then warp them more ‘for the good of satire’.” “Wraith may be the Ruler of my houses' fiercest enemies, but I have far more respect for him than I ever will for the likes of you.” “It is dreamers like you who drive the likes of me and my friends, decent, honest dreamers running from the very core of the City. If that makes you happy and proud then you are more distasteful than I ever thought.” “take a good look at yourself.. while you feel the need to trample on someone’s name over and over again .. for simply some idiotic justification (obsession) to satisfy yourself ..you in turn have completely demolished any respect you have or may have in the future earned.. “ “Now enough with this Wraith you yellow journalist. You put your profession to shame with this sensationalism.” “You really make me sick! You go around wraith bashing ect ect with no end in sight , or maybe a good butt kicking. I personally find it offensive that you go out of your way to make peoples dreams hell and that you also go out of your way to cause 3/4 of this crap.”

Even dreamers I used to call my friends spoke against me like I was the devil. It was amazing how dreamers would defend Wraith's actions to the point of absurdity. It hurt me very much. I sought comfort from my friends and they gave it to me. Wraith left the dream again, never to return, soon after.

Losing it over Lace

Lace has been there for me since my entrance to the city and when I gave a speech to her. She smiled and cheered herself into my dreams. She was a kind, caring, determined, loving, beautiful and focused dreamer. She had been with me through the thick and thin. I have both helped her and hurt her but I was always there when she needed me. She became my teaching mentor and we starting spending even more longer amounts of time together. I noticed that I could not stop thinking about her. Her voice, her hair, her eyes, her wisdom, her guidance and the sweetness of her breath. When she felt pain so did I. It was like we have some kind of strange connection. I realized then that I had to confess my long and passionate love for her. At the time she had just broken up with ravageone but I knew that I could wait no longer. We met in the gold (Spirit of Rebel) sanctuary. I confessed all and then said, “I love you, I have always loved you.” She stood in shock. I went up and kissed her. I knew then there was no turning back. She was even more confused when ravageone came to her and wanted her back. She was torn between two dreamers. I was holding on to the hope that lace would choose me, I looked up to the sky and asked fate a question. I believed so much in fate that it tortured me.

“I dedicated my dream to a crusade that has caused me nothing but sadness. I am cursed with not knowing my past, not knowing about my shard and horrible depression. Many dreamers all over the city despise me and laugh at my self-sacrificing actions. I never get any credit except the whispered thanks now and again. All I want from you is purple lace’s love and her hand in my hand… I love her more than anything… Can’t ya give me that?”

Later, I found lace had chose ravageone. I flipped out and lost everything. I went around the dream in a state of near insanity. I cursed fate and was heading down the road to permanent insanity. Elias, a friend, came to me and talked me down. His words of wisdom inspired me to hold myself together. Later, ravageone and lace broke up again. The pain lace felt poured inside of me. Purple Lace, my friend, my mentor and my true love is lost in a sea of confusion. Lace decided that she could never be with me… So we remained friends and I tried to suppress my feelings. The experience hardened me, I lost much of my wit and sense of humor.

Honored

I entered the city one day and a dreamer ran up to me saying that names of rooms, all over the city, had been changed by the elders. He told me to go to the gold sanctuary. I went, quite perplexed, and there I evoked know. Apparently, I was now standing in the "Spirit of the Rebel Sanctuary." I couldn't believe the elders had honored me in such a way. As I thanked the elder publicly, it gave me the boost I needed to struggle on with my crusade. Upon reflection, I have a better idea why the elders did this. I had always helped, complimented, and defended the elders. I had a great respect for them and scoffed when I heard dreamers complaining they had too much power. The elders knew this and rewarded me for it, maybe because they knew about the reports I had been receiving of elder corruption. I was naive and the honor had blinded me of possible corruption within the elders at least for the time being. Soon after I was awarded most controversial dreamer of the year. The public had voted, then I was given a trophy. I believed and still believe that controversy is good in many ways. It can force the truth out, get attention to important issues, lead to a resolution, inspire action and more. I saw the trophy as a deep honor and a symbol of recognition for my crusade. So I put in my pack and took very good care of it. It became my most treasured item.

House Calenture Changes, More Controversy

I walked up to House Calenture one dream because I had been told to come. There the rulers told me that the laws and codes were modified to eliminate the blatant corruption. I posted this wonderful news on the public scrolls. Soon after, I was attacked by MrChaos in a horrible reply. He claimed I was "retarded" and he only changed the rules to get me off their backs. He told me that I was lucky that they didn't put me on CoS. Now MrChaos was a long time friend and a once trusted contact, so you can guess that this upset me. I responded in shock and told all of calenture, "After this vicious attack by your great ruler, MrChaos, I feel I have no moral alternative. I will step on the steps of your house. I will not attack anyone or insult anyone... sometimes not even talk to anyone but I will walk up to your house and step on the steps every dream it is possible unless you apologize." Looking back it was a very stupid thing to do and I wasn't thinking clearly. My actions on the stairs led to me being put on CoS. MrChaos left the dream for he was disgusted by all this.

Retirement?

The House blamed MrChaos's departure on me, thus I felt like it was my fault. This guilt of driving my friend out of the dream and hurting a house got to me. Thus, it led to me quiting my crusade. I had been close before but I never went that far. My post to the city was a painful act of desperation to relieve my guilt.

"I have taken it all from the best of them. I stood up against the powers that be during a time when the whole city was asleep in a curse of deadly ignorant silence. But the insults, lies, generalizations, attacks, misinformation, manipulation of facts, and all out total character assassinations, all over Underlight, has gotten to me. My crusade has caused me sadness, great pain and the loss of most everything I hold dear. All my energy has gone into it and it has drained me spiritually dry. It has even sent me deep into the pits of insanity and if had not been for the love of my friends, I would have stayed there. You may ask, “Well, what good has it done for you?” It has done no good for me! It has made me a topic of conversation everywhere in the dream. Many consider me a walking joke or entertainment. It has given me a public image that is nothing like the real me. When I walk into a room almost everyone has a formed opinion about me even though most don’t even know me that well. It has caused me to ignore friends when they were in need and neglect to take care of myself. You may think all this has made me bitter. It hasn’t and if I could go back, I would do it again. I made a real difference and have done good for the dream. But all that is over, I have decided to retire from my crusade. I’m shedding my suit of golden armor and stepping out from the spotlight. It’s been a long crazy ride but I’m just so tired. I’m just sick of it all. Even though I’m retiring as a crusader, my crusade will live on in the hearts of all that fight against corruption and hypocrisy. Some may think less of me because I do this, but I’m not doing it for the dream. I do this for myself. In the end, there is only one thing you can follow, your own heart. It’s leading me to a new path in my dream and all I can do is follow."

All over the city, dreamers urged me to reconsider. Friends tried to talk me out of it. And shortly after my announcement, I put back on my golden suit and returned to my crusade. The incident cost me a lot of respect and gave me a problem with anger. I couldn't quit, it was my destiny, and I felt some strong force pull me back. I was mad at the establishment and I was going to make it pay… the only way I knew how. I wouldn't only be concerned about corruption and hypocrisy this time. I was interested in power abuse, oppression of freedom, injustice and anything else that would allow me to expose the truth and stir up controversy. Anger pulsated through me like never before and I had lost my sense of humor that gave my words a unique sting.

Magenta and the Elders

I soon found a just way to carry out my vengeance on the establishment. That way was a dreamer named Magenta who was a member of the Dreamers of Light. Magenta had lost her halo but she hadn't raised that much a fuss about it. She dealt with the elders and got the support of her house. Later the elders cut of discussion and the decision was final. She posted an angry diatribe of the elder's actions claiming that she had never broken her oath and dreamers all over the city rallied behind her. I saw an opportunity to get my revenge and funnel my anger. I demanded a trial and wrote, "I am tired of this conclave (Survivors) that thinks they are higher than us just because they are older. Older does not mean smarter! REBEL against the elders..." It was obvious to me that the elders had either screwed up and thus had to justify their decision, or removed Magenta's halo for some covert reason. I went out and started investigation the incident. I learned that the only elder who had directly investigated the task that got Magenta's halo removed had recommended that she remain a teacher. The elder's circle made the final decision that Magenta broke her oath without even trying to obtain the text of that oath. I released this information little by little on the scrolls waiting to use it all for the right time. Before, exposing this to the public, I attacked the elders through a powerful satire. Controversy swelled around the issues as I gave speeches around the city. Meetings all over the dream were concerned with the elders, Magenta and the teaching oath. I started a post entitled, "The Elders must be stopped!" that was intended to inspire a change in the current teaching systems. Although I was getting much flak for my actions, I was also getting much support because of all the anti-elder sentiment going around. Around this time, I announced a powerful nonviolent protest of the elder's actions. I proclaimed that I would stand, "in front of every elder that I run across. First I state my reasoning and then I stand in front of the elder silently. If they move, I continue to block their view." This managed to stir considerable debate in the city where I protested and in the scrolls. The elders were angry with me at the time and afraid of what could happen if my message spreads. It seemed like things were going well but then my crusade against the elders suffered a defeat. Magenta withdrew her support of me and wanted to let the matter rest. This cost me much support in the light and with dreamers who were allied with Magenta. After the defeat, I decided to interview Otagwe for the record and finally expose the whole sorted thing in detail. I learned much about the truths of our system as Otagwe honestly laid them out for me. I learned that Otagwe didn't care about the words of the oath and had decided the fate of Magenta because she broke the spirit of the oath. He admitted that he got the information used to take her halo from the only elder that supported her. I included the interview and all the information in the second issue of "The Elders must be stopped!" post. At the end, I concluded the following…

"This interview is historic because Otagwe reveals a basic truth in the city of Underlight. That the dream is an oligarchy (Many ruled by a small non-elected group). The elders rule over us like gods and there are no oaths or rules for them to follow. They took no oath to the dream. They can do whatever they want. There is no prevention against abuse of power. There is not one elder that represents the public. Well I say… NO REMOVING OF HALOS WITHOUT REPRESENTATION! NO REMOVING OF HALOS WITHOUT LEGAL OATH THAT THE ELDERS MUST LOOK AT! NO REMOVING OF HALOS UNLESS THE ELDERS SWEAR AN OATH TO THE DREAMERS! Am I talking about a revolution? Yes! A revolution for change! Join me while you still can!"

After the posts, some supported me and some didn't. But I had a good chance of success. It was probably around this time that the elders decided I had to be removed. They most likely gave the order to Sorsha who was already manipulating me and gaining my trust.

Sorsha and the banishment

During all this mess, Asmodan held a ritual during the Free Spirits Meeting that summoned Sorsha to the dream. Sorsha acted like she didn't know the reason why she was brought to the city and claimed she was an enemy of Asmodan. Soon after, she contacted me in secret wanting to talk to me about my crusade against the elders. There she told me that she supported my efforts and knew of deep corruption that had infected the elders. It took me a while, but after many meetings with her, Sorsha had gained my trust. This trust and growing friendship culminated in a meeting between Sorsha and me where I find out that it was all a lie, and subsequently paid for my mistake. At the Gathering of the Entrance, she whispered, "the corruption with the survivors goes more deeply than you would have ever imagined… I have them now… we have them and there is nothing they can do…" I was overjoyed as she told me to meet her at the resting columns. At the meeting, we talked a little while and then Sorsha walked slowly towards me then leaned in close, sliding a finger down my chest… leaving a trace of poisonous slime. I felt greatly weakened and collapsed to my knees. Sorsha started laughing and couldn't resist telling me of her plan to frame Otagwe (Who had been very honest with me). The pain became too much as I screamed out, "Freeedom!" with my last breath. I woke in cloudsbreak, banished from the dream.

Alone

I found myself in my shard. The shock to my system had caused all the memories of my shard, chaos, and the dream to flood into awareness all at once. This experience left me in physically paralyzed for almost a day. It was the worst day of my life. The following days weren't any better as I wondered around my shard unable to dream. I knew about the horrible deed that led to the deaths of my people and was tortured by it. I spent most of my days hunting wild beasts. As I killed them I pictured the avatars of Wraith, Sorsha, Hask and many of my other enemies. I attempted to commit suicide several times and dangled on the edge of sanity. You might wander why I didn't go eat the healing plant that had cured my insanity before. Well, the only passage to the plant was closed off by a cave-in. I had to overcome this by myself. The only thing that kept me going through the months of loneliness and the burden of my past was the passion to continue my crusade and see the faces of my friends... mostly purple lace. One day, I found a old book in my deserted village. It was the old teachings of the masters of dreaming. I searched through the pages looking for a way to counteract banishment but found nothing. I lost all hope at that point and decided that I needed to end it all. I ventured up to the highest point on my shard and was about to jump off. Just before I leaped, I collapsed to the ground and felt my mind being transported into the city of dreams once again.

The Return

I don't know how I returned or why. All I know is that it happened and it was meant to be. Perhaps it was that great force that had forced me to carry out a crusade that caused me so much pain. I wondered around the city. Dreamers were shocked to see me. Someone told me that the houses were destroyed. I screamed. It was like I returned to another nightmare. I needed answers and found them in Darion. Darion took me up to the destroyed houses and explained to me all that happened. He told me that he thought the elders were involved somehow. I felt like I was on fire with rage. While stuck in cloudsbreak, I had concluded that Sorsha banished me as part of an elder conspiracy. Now the elders were destroying houses. I had to talk to Sorsha!

Sorsha and the Betrayal

I found Purple Lace before I found Sorsha. I was overjoyed to see her but she seemed distant. I didn't have much time to talk to her because I located Sorsha. I ran into the library of souls and barged in interrupting her conversation. Sorsha claimed that she had used me in an experiment to get rid of Asmodan. She tried to act innocent as though she was a moral elder. Of course, I did not buy it and still do not buy it. I argued with Sorsha about it back and forth. Months of rage flowed out through my mouth. Sorsha sat back with a smug look on her face as I ranted on. Then she said that Purple Lace had betrayed me. She told me the sorted story of how lace assisted her in making sure I would never return from the dream and that now lace would probably upset because the plan failed. I refused to believe, and ran off. I wanted to make sure that Sorsha was lying so I confronted my love. Lace told me that it was true. My heart was broken and I was a shell of my former self only able to have passion for my crusade. I can't describe the horrible feelings I felt but I ignored them, focusing that energy into my renewed crusade.

Crusading hopelessly against the Elders

I posted a new issue of "The Elders must be stopped" that explained what Sorsha had done and at the end of the post I proclaimed the following…

"It is obvious to me that the destruction of the houses was aided by at least a few elders. Some we may have never met or perhaps, some we have met. The oligarchy of elders that rules over us has shown us what they can do. There was hardly any resistance, opposition, or voice against this great power. I must be that voice… I must be that resistance… I must be that opposition. I dedicate my dream from this moment on to change and to freedom. I dedicate my dream to stopping the elders from ruling over us like gods. I also want to find the truth behind the destruction of the houses and bring those responsible to justice."

Those words were powerful but my mind and judgement were clouded. The time was not right for this. The anger of the Magenta demotion had worn off and with my banishment the fight against them fizzled out. However, I continued to keep up the debate in meetings around the dream and in the threshold. I didn't even seem to notice that many disagreed with me and even more didn't care. Meanwhile in the public scrolls, I attacked Sorsha and the elders in a scathing post. After a few replies, she posted…

"Apology...alright, Rebel. I apologize., I should have conducted my experiment differently, I should not have banished you to cloudsbreak. I am sorry. I have told any dreamers who asked what happened, I have also owned up to any mistakes I have made in the past...I have nothing to hide...Oh, and my friends are not -toys- if you cannot see me for who I am now, I would ask that you cease with this yet AGAIN and do not surmise about things you know absolutely nothing about."

I was insulted by her pitiful attempt at an apology. Not to mention of her lies and further mention of this so called "experiment." She wanted an apology from me, and I refused to give it to her. As time went on, my hatred of her remained the same. I would always bring up what she did to me and rub it in her face every chance I got… But my crusade against the elders was going nowhere fast so I began to focus on other things.

The Penumbra Meeting

Walking through Evernight, I stumbled upon a meeting of the Penumbra. I heard Purple Lace say, "As for Iden, I shall destroy him with what I learned of the Overscanners/EC." After hearing this, I felt I had a moral responsibility to stay and absorb as much information as I could. Despite a few warnings to leave, I stayed. Purple Lace continued to talk about the Penumbra's plans for Iden. After all this, lace gave me a choice, "your silence rebel or all your energy!" Of course, now I realize that this was all part of lace's plans, she knew by saying this I would go tell as many dreamers as I could. She obviously wanted to spread the information and was using me. I wasn't ready for my former best friend using these kind of "dirty tricks," I mean we used to trust each other with the most sacred information. I played right into her hand and rushed off the freespirits meeting. As soon as I had the chance to talk, I explained to everyone what I had heard. The crowd was shocked. Pressured by those in the room, lace started to talk. After some question dodging she told about the collectors…

"The Collectors harness great stores of energy. With these 3 collectors, we will be able to not only build a fortress, but ALSO use them against Iden to defeat him. The interrelation is that One set of tools has 2 purposes. Now i know you only think primes are nice trashcans for essences, but I've seen them actually USED for something. Collapsing a Dreamer isn't a way to rid him from the city. Something more must be done. Something using a great energy source, like the Collectors."

Little did we all know that she was telling the absolute truth and that these collectors, after being stolen and held by the guard for a few months, would be used to banish Asmodan. At the time, I spread this information to the city through the public scrolls. After a few replies, lace admitted to her use of me…

"When have you ever known me to do something without a reason? I gave you more credit than you deserve, though. First off, the name of our guild is The Penumbra. You know how picky I am with spelling and grammar. Also, I really was hoping for better detail, but that is my fault for not spelling out what you were to do in plain, simple terms. Not a bad start though; I see I still influence… You shall have your reward for your deeds, my love. Since my husband seems to be rather taken with his journey, I'm sure I can find some free time, to reward you as you deserve. I'll have to refrain from your full reward, as you didn't do as good a job I expected from you. Perhaps you need more trainng."

I, of course, had too much pride to admit being used and choose to focus my attention elsewhere. It's rather funny looking back that the collector played such a big part in what followed.

The Beginning of the City Guard Investigation

After a solving a little problem in the Union group, I went to see my trusted friend and contact Intrigue. Little did I know then, that this conversation would lead me into one of the biggest and most complex investigations in my career.

I talked with Intrigue casually. Then she asked if I heard about strange things happening with the city guard. I said that I had heard nothing. She said that Sunblade, a member of the city guard at the time, told her about the strange mind-blanked meetings between members in the guard and that they are keeping company with the Kabal. I looked at Intrigue and smirked. I said that there is probably nothing wrong with the city guard, but I would look into it because of my duty. You see… I have heard stories like this, every other dream since my success with the Union of the Covenant corruption. Dreamers come to me with some of the most amazing tales of corruption. Most of the time, they don't pan out. Although, upon reflection, most of the tips I got from Intrigue have been right on the mark.

So, I checked around the dream to see if anyone else noticed these secret mind-blanked meetings of the city guard. Many dreamers confirmed this for me and told me of their suspicions. My instincts told me something strange was going on but I couldn't quite figure out what. I decided to talk to Sunblade. She could possibly expand on the inside information that she gave Intrigue. I was hopeful when I went to the library of souls one fine dream to sit and talk with her. To my surprise, Sunblade couldn't remember telling Intrigue anything about secret mind-blanked meetings and denied what she had said. I was surprised because I never knew Intrigue to be a liar. I asked her if Sunblade thought Intrigue was honest. She said that Intrigue was one of the most honest dreamers…

I was confused…

Lies…

Meanwhile, I investigated the guard's relationship with both the Kabal and Penumbra. Syfer, off the record at the time and later revealed by permission, told me that, "The Guard is against the Kabal/Penumbra. We've seen nothing from them except power hungry dreamers and the urge to do damage to the City." And then added that he and Ghaz had a quite a few battles of Evernight with the Penumbra. Although, Sunblade denied the city guard was opposed to this group, she gave me the official version… "The guard is a neutral force. We do not ever enter a fight or argument bias… Not without trying to resolve it peacefully. So the answer to that is the relationship is neutral." Many dreamers confirmed the city guard's unofficial hatred of the Penumbra and their violent battles. I knew that Sunblade was lying to me. So, I confronted Intrigue about this and she said she would talk to Sunblade. She reported back to me that Sunblade had not told me the truth but she was going to help my investigation by “ferreting” information to Intrigue. However, Sunblade never came through with this offer. (Much later, after all this was over, she told me I was right on the mark and she was glad I did what I did.)

Subsequently, I talked with Brother Timothy, another member of the guard, and he told me about the guard, using the official lies that Sunblade had used. However, he did inform me of a secret meeting between Ghazgkull and the Kabal, in which Ghaz requested a "metal chak…."

I then came across a story that Ghazgkull had stolen a key to one of the infamous caches. I investigated it and came up with solid proof that Ghazgkull had stolen the key through deception and abuse of his power as captain of the city guard. It was quite shocking. Syfer, who was feeding me information off the record, confirmed it and said that he approved of Ghazgkull's actions. I began to wonder why he was helping me. Was he giving me this tidbit of information to keep me away from something bigger? What was going on in the city guard?

The Collector and The Guard

Then the bombshell that helped answer my questions…

While I was walking through the threshold, Intrigue ran up to me. She looked concerned. She rushed me into the library and told me that she had found out, "Silverwake and Ghaz were involved and the Guard do have the Ambience Essence Collector…" It was the collector that once belonged to the Penumbra and was stolen. Intrigue told me that she was absolutely sure about this. It seemed to be fitting together. The city guard had stolen the ambience collector because of their hatred for the Penumbra. It seems, they had adopted a "means equals end" credo while they put forth a false image of the guard to the public at large. Theories were buzzing around my head, but I decided to ignore them, thus stuck to the facts. I decided to look into this matter and see if I could find any evidence. I would give the guard the benefit of the doubt.

I talked with Purple Lace, leader of the Penumbra, about the collector. She confirmed it was stolen, and that the city guard had it. Then I sought Silverwake and found her most cooperative. In an interview she revealed how she accidentally dropped the collector that she had found, in a freespirits meeting. She confirmed the presence of many in the city guard. Many backed-up Silverwake's story… and I found myself having crucial credible information. I had strong evidence that the city guard had the means, motive and opportunity to steal the collector, hide it, and keep it a secret. Through the cache key information, I had evidence that Ghazgkull is no stranger to theft, deception, and abusing his powers as captain. Then I had the information that city guard members, at least some, supported Ghazgkull in these actions.

It was time to see the other side of the story. It was time to talk to Ghazgkull…

The heart of darkness… Ghazgkull

I went to Ghazgkull and requested an interview with him. He politely obliged. After asking not even three questions, Ghazgkull chuckled and walked out of the interview. He refused to continue and ignored my whispers. The strategy for dealing with me was going to change from now on. I found out for sure when I went to go talk with Syfer. Ghaz burst in with an angry scowl on his face. He yelled, “The Guard does not have time to waste dealing with the likes of you, Rebel…” then “We all know how you operate.” In one of the saddest and strangest moments in my crusades, he then tried to call my questioning of Syfer… harassment. After a long argument I left. This is probably when Ghaz gave the order for the guard to either ignore me or greatly lie to me (Final Justice had heard and told me about much later). I found it difficult to talk to city guard members and each of them denied knowing anything about the collector.

I tried to break the guard's mold and get all their statements on the record, but I was being severely stonewalled. I decided to go forward with the evidence I had. I went to talk to Intrigue about my plan of how I would release the evidence. She advised me to release it in two stages, holding on the solid evidence of Ghazgkull's theft of a cache key for the second stage. I thought she had a good point, so I released stage one as part of "REBEL! Issue 13." I was very upset with Ghazgkull and pretty sure that the city guard had been corrupted. However in the issue, I greatly toned down my conclusions.

"Although this is not all the information I have collected on the city guard, I believe it is a great starting point for learning the truth. I hope that dreamers reading this seek out the answers for yourself. I promise more of the evidence I collected and continue to collect will be revealed in time. I don’t know for sure if the city guard has a sinister relationship with the Kabal or Penumbra. I also don’t know for sure if the city guard has hidden one of the collectors and is keeping its location secret. Who knows, maybe Ghazgkull acted without the help of his guard? But I do know that Ghazgkull is a very irrational concerning investigations into the city guard and his behavior towards me is horrible. I hope that the city guard members pressure their captain to talk with me. A dreamer in his position of power should not refuse to answer my questions. He may not run from chaks but he is running from questions."

I received some support and not that much criticism about the city guard investigation. Although at the time it didn't cause the huge stir, I realized that I was just planting the seeds. Rumors were spreading around the city, the city guard's motives were becoming a debatable topic, and everyone wondered about the collector.

I went up to one of Ghaz's favorite genning spots where I had located him. I wanted to discuss things with him. Shortly after I entered, he collapsed me. As if that wasn't enough pain, I dropped the trophy that I was awarded for most controversial dreamer of the year, which meant a great deal to me. Ghaz then stole it and teased me about it. He said, “Maybe I'll set it down so you can watch it evaporate. Harhar” He later informed me, “I've *warned* you to stay clear of me, Rebel." I pleaded with Ghazgkull but it was no use, he kept reminding me about the warning he gave to leave the guard alone. He continued to attack me while I asked him why he wouldn’t answer my questions. Then after a while, he placed my trophy on the item generator and said it would stay there until I left, I was a helpless soulsphere faced with a decision. My love for the trophy was not as powerful as my sense of duty so I stayed as if to say that I would not respond to threats. I then stormed. From that moment on, I was a walking target for Ghazgkull. He would attack me whenever outside a sanctuary, steal anything I would drop, ward me in rooms as a soulsphere, and destroy items in front of my face. He obviously was trying to break my spirit at the time and make me act reckless. But I was too smart for that.

Controversy ignites

I released the second part of my evidence against the guard. This lead to a post by Novgorad that helped ignite the controversy.

With the protectors group behind him, Nov charged…

"Our only hold back would be our illustrious City Guard and their Captain Ghazgkull, as it is common knowledge that the City Guard is holding and hoarding access to the 3rd Prime. Those of you who truly have faith in the opening of your houses, this is a must that the 3rd Prime be returned to Kabal / Penumbra folks so that we can get on with our reconstruction!

The City Guard is controlling our future! It is they who are causing our stagnation and the stagnation of the dream! I call to all houses, to force by whatever means, the City Guard and their Captain to turn over the 3rd Prime. Without it, the houses will not open.

PS: Don't expect the City Guard to be forth coming about the Prime, as the REBEL so found out in his recent interview."

The post received many replies both from supporters and critics. Members of the city guard even responded. Dreamers were openly questioning Ghazgkull's authority and motives. There was a growing concern about what the city guard was doing and the guard was losing support. Ghaz was being openly attacked in the city by literally mobs of angry dreamers. I would clash with him often in the threshold and show up at guard meetings with an array of questions. Around this time, both Final Justice and Sunblade quit (They both tell me later that their quiting was because of Ghazgkull's power hunger and abuse). At the time, neither would speak to me about it.

The Protest

After the controversy died down a bit because of the emergence of the datoke, I decided it needed to be started up again. I had not prepared for another release of evidence, so I figured I would try a unique protest. So after waiting for the shock of the datoke threat to wear off somewhat, I announced my plans to the city.

"Therefore, as you may or may not have noticed, I have put away my infamous golden armor temporarily and have put on a city guard uniform in protest of the Ghazgkull and the City Guard's actions. I will continue my investigation into the City Guard and will continue to reveal information to the dreaming public. I will also now make known what I support concerning all of this madness.

1. The removal of Ghazgkull as captain of the City Guard 2. An open and honest dialogue with members of the City Guard and Ghazgkull about the ambience essence collector and items with interested members of the city 3. The appointing of a new City Guard captain and a written charter of the rules, beliefs and policies of the Guard."

I felt my protest would have a visual impact spreading discussion and controversy about the guard wherever I went. I was right. Plus, dreamers were so used to my golden armor that I received many questions about it. Each time it led to a conversation about the guard where I could help inform. The guard was becoming the main topic at most freespirits meeting thanks to my efforts. And the protest post was growing longer and longer adding to fire of debate. The controversy was growing to a level I had never seen before. I couldn't help that feel like I was winning this fight against the guard.

The Investigation continues

Around this time, I got another big break. Golah, a former member of the guard, agreed to go on the record with me. There he said that Ghazgkull had stolen and was hiding the collector. He also told me that Syfer and Talin Dematraz were also probably involved. He believed that Ghazgkull was spinning out of control because he had been infected by the power of the collector. I finally had the connection I needed. I also gained much needed information from a guard member named DreamEdge. He was an honorable dreamer who was out of the loop when looking into the more covert activities of the guard. (Much later, He finds out about these covert activities and telling me that they were for the best) He confirmed that Syfer, Talin and Ghazgkull were often in mindblanked meetings discussing guard issues. Quite upset, he told me how his brother Final Justice had quit because of Ghazgkull. I got the impression that he was an honest dreamer but didn't know enough about the covert operations of the guard. I also realized that I needed to get Final Justice to talk to me. However, before I could do that… I released the next issue of "REBEL!" with; the Golah interview, the DreamEdge interview, accounts of Ghazgkull's attacks, information on Sunblade's deceit and so on.

I concluded…

"As for the Sunblade revelation, I think it adds much doubt to the many denials she gave in previous interviews. The DreamEdge interview adds much more strength to the complicity, suspiciousness and irregularity of the guard’s mind blanking, and it adds more crucial information to the controversy surrounding Final Justice’s quitting. In the last interview with golah, he joins purple lace in directly stating that the Ghazgkull hid the ambience essence collector. He confirms the already solid evidence that Ghazgkull had the key to one of the caches and raises questions to his honesty about it. For the first time, you can get a glimpse at the possible motives of Ghazgkull and a interesting theory as to the cause of his recent behaviors."

The new information besides heightening the controversy…. helped the city, as a whole, get a better understanding of what the city guard really was. Of course, there was still die- hard guard supporters that refused to believe any evidence no matter how strong. One of them, Lord Empathy, started a post that focused on attacking me and my investigation. I forced LE's confession that he had never read any of the evidence and exposed him as an ignorant loyalist.

Final Justice and Intrigue

Around this time, I received much-needed help from two dreamers.

My long time contact and friend, Intrigue, started to support me strongly on the scrolls and in the city. She donned the uniform of the city guard for a while and supported the protest. We would start up debates in the freespirits meeting and talk to influential dreamers about the guard. Her help really meant a lot to me. She helped push me forward and keep me sharp, plus she contributed to a turn in public opinion. In a passionate speech at the free spirits meeting, Intrigue said, “I feel the City Guard should be disbanded and rebuilt from the ground up. It reeks of corruption right now. It is tarnished beyond hope. The City masses should elect the City Guard, point blank, and then after the Guard is restructured… another vote is held to determine the Captain.” Meanwhile, I searched about Final Justice. Trying to convince him to help me off the record at the very least. Finally, he agreed thinking it would be the right thing. He told me all about the guard then helped guide me through my investigation and protest against them. We kept in contact through the whole drama and he was essential to my decision making process.

Final Justice and Intrigue

Around this time, I received much-needed help from two dreamers.

My long time contact and friend, Intrigue, started to support me strongly on the scrolls and in the city. She donned the uniform of the city guard for a while and supported the protest. We would start up debates in the freespirits meeting and talk to influential dreamers about the guard. Her help really meant a lot to me. She helped push me forward and keep me sharp, plus she contributed to a turn in public opinion. In a passionate speech at the free spirits meeting, Intrigue said, “I feel the City Guard should be disbanded and rebuilt from the ground up. It reeks of corruption right now. It is tarnished beyond hope. The City masses should elect the City Guard, point blank, and then after the Guard is restructured… another vote is held to determine the Captain.” Meanwhile, I searched about Final Justice. Trying to convince him to help me off the record at the very least. Finally, he agreed thinking it would be the right thing. He told me all about the guard then helped guide me through my investigation and protest against them. We kept in contact through the whole drama and he was essential to my decision making process.

Talin's attempted coup

One dream, I was in the lost caves with a few friends I believe. Tary came to me and said that he urgently needed to talk to me. In the cold atmosphere of the caves, we spoke. Taryag claimed, " Months ago... when I still was... ah... with Iden... Ghazgkull, captain of the guard, attended meetings with me. He and I were... comrades in supporting Iden. Iden has demanded that Ghazgkull remain captain of the Guard... When Iden came back last night... well... I couldn't hold my tongue any longer." He laid at a whole story for me. That Ghaz was using the guard to covertly serve Iden's interest. For instance, Iden was fierce enemies with the Penumbra and Ghaz was holding their most powerful item. It seemed to make sense at the time. I wasn't sure what to believe. Taryag's words came as a complete shock to me, but now I understand what was going on. Much time after this incident, Taryag told me that his "confession" about Ghazgkull was a complete fabrication. He was paid to make up this story by none other then Talin Dematraz. And this was all an effort to help set up his coup against Ghazgkull by making him appear like a traitor to his fellow guardsmen. Talin wanted to control the guard. Playing right into Talin's interests, I posted the Taryag interview. It caused the usual stir and further trashed Ghazgkull's image. I am not sure what guard members really thought about it at the time, but publicly they said Tary's claims were BS.

Shortly after this, the collector was lost… and only Ghaz, Talin and other guard members knew. Folko ran up to Talin, in a crowd of dreamers, and asked where the collector went. Guard members saw this and wondered how Folko knew about its location. Folko claimed that Ghazgkull had told him about it. Now with the knowledge I have… I can tell you all what this was really about. This was all part of Talin's plan. He paid or manipulated Folko somehow to put on this show. It was meant to look like Ghazgkull was betraying the location of the collector and was lying to his fellow guard members. This is when Talin came to me to carry out the next part of his plan.

Talin and I talked in private. For the first time in many dreams, he became very honest with me about the guard. He told me that I was right about Ghazgkull and the collector… I was right about everything. Talin said, wanting sympathy, “I'm a good guy that's had a very hard few months... and being ordered to do things I don't particularly enjoy has worn me thin. And you... you harp, and harp, until I have nothing left. And it wears doubly because it's true.” After teasing me with the truth, he now began to lie. He then conducted an investigation that “found things." After using the "I don't want to reveal everything" act, he then told me about the Folko incident and that Taryag's confession was probably right. He said, " There are things at work you do not understand. We are cleaning our own house... and we will shake this trail of muck that fool's dragged us through." Talin told me that he was going to get rid of Ghazgkull and take over the city guard. He wanted me to help by supporting him and reporting Ghazgkull overthrow. I was confused on whether to trust Talin, but I decided to go along with it, and see what happens. I gave him my word to keep quiet until after Talin presents his case before the guard.

All members of the city guard gathered in the usual spot to listen to Talin. I waited outside the City Guard meeting where Talin said the vote would take place. I checked in occasionally. Finally, the meeting ended…. Many of the guard members ventured off. I spoke with Talin to find out what happened. He informed me, “The vote will not take place. My inquest has failed.” I asked, “So you are keeping Ghazgkull as a member? Are you nuts?” Talin Dametraz responded, “I can’t even have him removed. My evidence has been blackballed as have I.” I was in shock.

NOTE: Later I found out what happened in the meeting from witnesses. Apparently Talin tried to convince the guard that Ghazgkull was a traitor. All the members, excluding DreamEdge, knew about the stolen collector and the covert operations against the Penumbra and me. Apparently the whole group was following the "means equals end" credo. Talin failed in trying to prove his case of treason as the members strongly doubted his sincerity.

I released all that I knew about Talin's attempt to overthrow Ghazgkull in a very powerful post. Despite Talin's denials, the guard was weak and ready to collapse. It was time to move in for the kill.

New City Guard

A while before all the craziness with Talin… Me, Intrigue and Thanatos came up with a great plan to counter the city guard's change into Ghaz's covert action group. I hoped that it would bury Ghaz and his thugs for good. The plan was to try to get a new city guard started that would have the charter of the original guard and stick to the rules. A guard that would really be for the city… a tool.

Around the time of the Talin mess, Intrigue released the charter I had written (Based on the guard's orginal principles). It caused the biggest stir in this whole drama so far. It also helped crumble the guard's power structure, as the group became a joke. Many dreamers, at least 15, were interested in joining. The debate in the post was reaching 3 pages. The freespirits meeting was a buzz with the topic. And the city was enthralled in it all. We were getting a great start.

As time went on, Thanatos stopped dreaming as much. And Intrigue became involved in too many activities. We tried to hold it together, but interest in the group passed. And the idea faded away. On the bright side, the attempt to create a new guard had forever damaged Ghazgkull and his group.

Victory

While the new guard slowly faded away because of lack of passionate central organizers, I began to wonder about what was next. My investigation was going slowly, with only a few leads centered on Talin and Folko. (These eventually bear fruit, as I come to discover all the parts of Talin's coup plot.) My protest was losing steam and the controversy level was subsiding. I went soul searching in cloudsbreak. After the short time in my shard, I got a better outward view. Retained my wit and sense of humor that had been lost in all the dramatic arguments of the city guard controversy. And most of all, I shed my self-pity at least for a while.

I decided to examine the condition of the guard and sample the population's opinion. I wandered the dream and asked anyone that would talk to me their opinion of the city guard. Most considered Ghazgkull a bit on the crazy side and had no respect for the guard. Many agreed with my assessment of corruption and power-abuse but just didn't care anymore because the guard wasn't active. Even diehard supporters had grown disillusioned about them. I talked with Brother Timothy about the status of the guard. He was sadly honest. They were not active and most meetings were deserted. Three members were left and they spend little time on "duty." And Ghazgkull wasn't dreaming much.

I realized something. That, I had achieved victory. I had exposed the guard, reduced them to rubble, and turned the public against them. I decided to end my investigation and protest. When I announced this, I concluded the following based on my long investigation.

"Ghazgkull took control of the city guard. He abused his power and used the guard for his own purposes. The other members of the guard were either following orders or kept in the dark about the covert operations.

One of these covert operations was the theft of the ambient essence collector. This powerful item was held hostage by the guard and the public was deceived about it.

In an effort to protect Ghazgkull's covert operations, a counter campaign was mounted against those investigating the guard and those criticizing it. This campaign included collapses, theft, deception, smear tactics and manipulation of the city.

To the public, the group knowingly portrayed itself falsely as a band of principled defenders of the city.

Talin Dametraz formed an alliance with me and tried to overthrow Ghazgkull supposedly so he could begin a great reform. He was defeated and choose to lie about his activities."

It was over. The truth was out in the open… I had won!

I took off my mock city guard uniform and suited up in my golden armor. The houses had just opened. I was ready to continue my crusade.

The Iron Curtain

Due to concerns voiced to me by many dreamers all over the city. I looked into the house teaching policies. All the houses and groups were very cooperative about their policies and even willing to discuss them with me. Then I met Takana. She informed me that the Union had set a rather unique precedent. They would not release teaching policy information to the public at large because we did not "need to know." The teaching policy and other policies would admittedly be shrouded in a veil of secrecy. Of course, I was angry about this and posted, attacking the Union's policy.

"This iron curtain draped across the house façade is dangerous and harmful to the city. Teaching policies of the house affect freespirits, and other house members to a lesser degree. For dreamers do not just go to teachers within their own group or community. What does this house have to hide from the public? Why are they setting this precedent? I hope that this angers you as much as it does me. Everyone, please respond and tell me what you think."

No one supported my opinions about the Union, but a few did criticize me. After a three unsuccessful attempts to counter the policy and create an outrage, I gave up on the Union. I decided the best policy in dealing with them, would be to ignore them when dealing with the teaching policy problem.

Fight for teacher's choice

After researching the house's teaching policy, I came to a realization. I believed that house policies that limit their teacher's choice in students were dangerous to the city. I felt these policies should be changed. Many seemed to agree with me including my good friend Intrigue.

My realization summarized…

"These policies are dangerous. -Some teachers in these houses that would normally teach a wide variety of students don't because the policy limits their choice. These teachers remain in the house because of their loyalty to it. So the absences of these teachers creates a vacuum effect on the freespirit community. Undecided dreamers and others with unpopular beliefs are literally sucked into popular belief groups, and then houses for the reason of advancement. These dreamers weaken the houses and the city. They also could easily become corrupted. -These policies separate the beliefs at a basic level. It creates fear, hate, prejudice, and violence between these groups. It is the first step that could lead to war, whether it is cold or hot. First it is teaching… what's next? Planes? Will one of these houses claim a plane off limit to all of a certain belief? It could happen and that is what scares me.

These policies have no valid point -The only reason given for these policies is that the houses do not want to help their enemies. This sounds reasonable, right? If the houses really wanted to avoid violence they would make peace with houses of opposite beliefs and work together to battle common enemies such as Datoke and Darkmares. Instead, the houses created a policy that will lead to violence. Furthermore, if a war breaks out and their enemy is stronger then them, would it really matter? No. In all out war, it is impossible for either side to win. All that happens is both sides fight until their resources drain and then make peace. The result is fewer items, less XP and everyone is left with the same problems as before. The only way for a house to conquer another house is through covert operations, which has nothing to do with how powerful, sphere and art wise. your enemy is.

These policies are cowardly -Houses should be strong enough to put student choice in their teacher's able hands. If they don't allow their teacher's this basic freedom, then they are afraid of their own house teachers. That is not a strong house… that is a weak house."

I decided to take action, and announced a massive march. The march would go to all the houses, excluding the Union. At houses that allowed their teacher's freedom of choice, gifts would be offered. At houses that greatly limited this choice, there would be nonviolent civil disobedience by stepping on the stairs. The post received many replies and led to a discussion all over the city. The teaching policies sprouted a long and heated discussion at the freespirits meeting. The houses were buzzing with activity as described to me by many members. Soon after, House Calenture announced they had changed their policy and allowed their teachers complete freedom of choice. The protest hadn't even started and I had achieved a victory. I was feeling overly optimistic.

The march was canceled at the last minute. I revealed why in an angry post.

"About 15 minutes before the march, a large group of Datokes and Darkmares started gathering right outside of the sanctuary where the march was suppose to originate from. I watched in horror, as dreamers heading to the march were drawn outside into a chaotic battle with these creatures. The chaos drew almost all marchers into or away from the fray, thus the event was canceled. This all seems almost too coincidental to me. The march probably would have been a great success with all those that had promised me to attend. The possibility of a march had already created much debate in the city and on the scrolls, called attention to the issue, promoted communication of the policy in the houses, possibly had some impact of Calenture changing their policy, and so on. Then the nightmares show up just in time to ruin it."

I was not about to beaten by a bunch of nightmares. The march was rescheduled. It was intended to protest houses limiting their teacher's freedom of choice concerning students, and to praise houses that allowed this freedom. Dreamers of Light, Gathering of the Entranced, and Protectors of the Radiance were houses where protests would occur. During the protests, some marchers would stand on the steps of the house in an act of civil disobedience. All others houses excluding the Union would be praised and given gifts by the marchers.

I went into the Free Spirit Sanctuary and waited for my fellow marchers. Many had promised to come, but I knew that promises don't always equal results. Furthermore, I also knew that the rescheduling of the march had also cost me some support. Dreamers started funnel in. I noticed that loveslight and many members of the Dreamers of Light start to gather inside. Expectedly, some sick dreamers had showed up to observe the expected violence. A few Gathering of the Entranced members also showed. Kaer Shaka and a few others marchers stormed and weren't dreaming. Eventually 4 marchers showed up… LadySilver, Blana, Kestra Nuvar and me. I realized that although most of the city shared my opinion about the house policies, not many were willing to sacrifice and stand up for what they believe in. Around this time, loveslight made an offer in an attempt to get the march canceled. She asked, "Why not debate it with us peacefully in sanc?" I had debated with the house often and planned to continue that debate. But I would not call of a march just so we could have the same debate. After some argument I offered, "I have debated and will debate... but I will not call off the march unless you offer a discussion where some compromise can possibly come." Of course, Loveslight would not accept my offer. As I explained the guidelines for the march, loveslight, Ghazgkull, and others shouted out at me. My fellow marchers listened with great respect and were not diverted by all the shouting. I explained to everyone that the first house the march will visit, would be House Calenture. The marchers, dressed in chalk clothing, ventured to evernight. There a crowd had gathered. Ghazgkull stood next to a warded portal. Kestra in shock, pleaded, "Why are we being warded out?" We had planned to march to House Calenture offering gifts and praise, but it was obvious that we needed a back-up plan.

And so it began… We tried to outsmart and outrun Ghazgkull but he warded us in planes at every turn. All our plans to trick him failed, as Ghaz continued to abuse his art. Eventually storms invaded the city. The march had been destroyed.

I decided to end my public protests of the teaching policy, because I believe I had done all I could. I still have talked to house members about this policies… and I still shouted my opposition to them when the time called for it.

The Disease

While I became embroiled in another struggle involving corruption in the keepers, I began to feel weird while in my shard. I would get occasional dizzy spells. Then I saw it. The dreaded red mark.

I had the horrible disease known as SHAK… There was no cure. And only months left in this place called Underlight. I will crusade to the very end but I can't write the end to this story.

Will one of you stand up and take my crusade? Will one of you wear the golden armor?

That is what this story is, a guide to future crusaders. So that it can live on forever.

References

• https://web.archive.org/web/20030228234223/http://www.underlight.com/files/docs/Rebellion-Dreams.doc